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Self-Esteem: Signs, Symptoms and Treatment

Self-esteem is your subjective evaluation of your goodness, likability, and overall competence. When you have a healthy self-esteem, you feel ready to handle life’s challenges. You recognize your strengths and don’t let your mistakes or shortcomings define you. 

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Measuring self-esteem is difficult, but some studies suggest that as many as 85% of Americans feel that they don’t measure up.

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Signs and Symptoms of Low Self-Esteem

Here are some common signs of low self-esteem. You don’t need to experience all of these symptoms to seek treatment for low self-esteem:

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  • Self-deprecating thoughts or statements

  • Feeling unworthy or unvalued 

  • Believing there’s nothing good about yourself 

  • Focusing on your shortcomings and ignoring your strengths and achievements

  • Apologizing or feeling guilty for small mistakes or things that aren’t your fault

  • Extreme sensitivity to criticism

  • Difficulty creating and honoring boundaries
     

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Causes of Low Self-Esteem

Several factors throughout your life can cause low self-esteem. All causes of low self-esteem are environmental, which means that nobody is born with low self-esteem, and anybody can improve their self-esteem. Here are a few examples of factors that can lead to low self-esteem:

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  • Parenting style

  • Child abuse / Negligent parents

  • Bullying

  • Trauma

  • Experiences of rejection

  • Perfectionism

  • Messages from the media (particularly about physical appearance)

  • Capitalism

  • Individualistic cultural norms

  • Discrimination / Inequality

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Treatment for Low Self-Esteem

Treatment for low self-esteem must include a combination of identifying your strengths, challenging your inner critic, and regularly engaging in acts of self-compassion. Though improving self-esteem may at first seem like a feel-good process, often, it’s uncomfortable and challenging.

 

Many individuals with low self-esteem believe they have few or no strengths and are uncomfortable speaking positively about themselves. Therefore, the process of identifying and reflecting on their individual strengths can be very difficult.

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Effective therapy will help you identify your strengths even if you believe you have none, and it will help you systematically grow more accustomed to positive self-talk. Therapy will also help you identify and challenge your inner critic.

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Many people with low self-esteem fear that if they're "too nice" to themselves, they'll become complacent, arrogant, or unmotivated. Treatment will help you work through these reservations by helping you find a balance between accountability and kindness (likely the same balance you give freely to others).

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Finally, therapy will help you engage in regular acts of self-compassion. The following is a non-exhaustive list of self-compassionate acts:

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  • Setting realistic expectations for yourself

  • Identifying and acknowledging your strengths

  • Accepting compliments

  • Creating and honoring relationship boundaries

  • Communicating with confidence

  • Saying "no"

  • Asking for help

  • Practicing regular self-care

  • Bouncing back after making mistakes

  • Trusting your judgment

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If you feel that you need support identifying your strengths, challenging your inner critic, engaging in acts of self-compassion, or overcoming any of the above signs of self-esteem, reach out to schedule a consultation!

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